Sunday, August 3, 2014

SUMMER SALE - NOW ONLY $0.99! Wisconsin Vampire **Book Blast**

Scott Burtness enjoys beer, bowling, karaoke, and horror. After not nearly enough consideration, he decided to write about the things he enjoys.

SUMMER SALE - NOW ONLY $0.99! 

"Midwestern nice” is hard to pull off when you’re a bloodthirsty monster. 

Poor Herb isn’t even sure how he got vamped in the first place. With no one to guide him, Herb fumbles into his newfound abilities, courting disaster with each bumbling step. Sure, there are some perks. The local stripper wants him, he can do this whammy mind-control thing, and he is getting a lot better at bowling. But he can’t drink beer, the bodies are piling up, and his best friend Dallas is getting suspicious. When Herb and Dallas go for the same girl, keeping his dark secret becomes the least of Herb's concerns. 

Booze, billiards, bake sales, babes, bowling, bar fights, blood and karaoke. Who would’ve thought that being undead would make life so interesting?




5.0 out of 5 stars Funny! March 12, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I find this book to be more of a comedy rather than of a vampire! Lots of humor in here. But I love it, it's cleverly written!

5.0 out of 5 stars The best unlikely vampire hero you'll meet! July 16, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition
Complimentary copy provided in exchange for honest review.

So, the last few years we’ve seen a bumper crop of paranormal stories, most notably with vampires as the main creature of the night. And sure, we’ve been swayed by the smooth talking Jean-Claude and Eric Northman; turned on yet slightly repulsed by Asher; and possibly wondered what the big fuss was about a sparkly vampire (or was that just me?)

Anyway, yeah, those stories were good; sometimes better than good, but they all seem to be somewhat the same: the pale yet ethereal, tall, slim but lean with hair better than a Pantene commercial model whose eyes can peer so deep into you he (or she) can see into your not-yet-anywhere-close-to-being born great-grandchildren’s souls, who, at the beginning of the story is so foul and vile not even Hell wants them, but because of the genuine love of some poor, unsuspecting tasty little meal who they probably thralled along the way ends up the wonderful hero by the end of the book where angels are singing their praises. Sound like a familiar story line?

Let me introduce you to Herb, a somewhat less-than-average cook at “Ronnie’s Famous Truck-stop, Grill, Bait Shop and Gift Emporium” located in some small town in Wisconsin. Herb doesn’t have it going on. At. All. He drives a Pinto and needs three different alarm clocks just to help him get up in the mornings. Through a weird twist of fate (and I mean weird), Herb becomes the newest citizen of the undead society. And oh what a journey it is! True to form, Herb doesn’t experience the transformation of waking up 3 days later looking like a Calvin Klein underwear model. No, his transformation is more Tales from the Crypt than America’s Next Top Model.

Scott Burtness has given us a book with a definitely unique twist on the paranormal vampire story with one of the most untypical protagonist in Herb. Despite the changes in his body, there is still a bit of goodness left in him that he tries to hold onto; which isn’t easy considering his best friend Dallas is becoming more and more suspicious of Herb, not to mention both Herb and Dallas are competing for the attentions of local waitress Lois.

The ending comes as somewhat of a shock, but given the overall unique quality of this story, it does seem to follow the unconventional route of endings. I can’t wait to read the next book in the series and recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a decidedly one-of-a-kind vampire hero.