An interview with author/editor, Colleen M. Albert!!!

Let's get to know author and editor of The Grammar Babe, Colleen M. Albert!

K.N. Lee: Good afternoon, Colleen. We are thrilled to learn a little about the author of Chasing Destiny, the short story you wrote in response to the writing challenge! Tell us, where are you from?

Colleen: I was born in the obscurely known northern city of Oswego—it's north of Syracuse in upstate New York and sits right on the freeze-your-tush-off shore of Lake Ontario, one of the United State's five great lakes. Here's what we're known for: Sunsets, Al Roker (who went to college at Suny Oswego),  our haunted Fort Ontario (featured on Ghost Hunters), and for supposedly being in the Guinness Book of World Records at one time for having the most bars and churches per capita. Yeah, baby!

K.N. Lee: What inspired you to write your first book?

Colleen: My driving passions to read, write, and edit. Other than family, they are the activities that make me the happiest and calmest. After my son was born, I went through a huge transition from corporate America to this creative La La Land I now inhabit—and love. These characters just came knocking on my brain one day, demanding I let them out. I started writing the story from Isabella's point of view, but Grey quickly stole the show and said, "Nope, buddies. This is my story, first. You girls can have books two and three." And that's how my novel bloomed into a trilogy! In 2012, my novel went from a YA romance to a YA urban fantasy/romance when Grey decided to shoot fire from her hands. Suffice it to say, I now need to have a come to Jesus plotting session with myself before moving forward, fixing plot holes, and crossing the finish line.

K.N. Lee: That is incredible! Don't you just love how our characters start bossing us around? Do you write full-time or part-time? How do you balance your writing life with your family/work life?

Colleen: Ooh, this is a great question, and I'll let you know when I accomplish it! I write part time, edit for other authors full time, and am a stay at home mother full time. Tricky, huh? I've always had an innate ability to "get 'er done" and make things happen. I think it's because I know the universe won't let me fail. That, and I have an amazing support network in place, including a very hands-on husband, my mother who lives in town, and the world's best nanny, Christina. 

K.N. Lee: What jobs have you held that influence your stories?

Colleen: I came from a middle-class working background and had to work my way through high school and college so that I could pay for my college degree. So, while my earlier jobs (babysitter, Burger King, bank teller) may not influence my stories, per se, they have influenced my personal growth, integrity, and work ethic, and I try to instill this into my characters as well, to give them depth and dimension. My later professional experience (in affluent banking, writing, editing, technology, and marketing) may come into play in future novels, like my other WIP about a dead husband who comes back to help his wife, and daughter, move on and heal. I think the biggest career influence on my writing is, honestly, my professional editing. I learn so much from my writers about what works and what doesn't, and can clearly see why when I'm editing their books. Plus, I edit for some pretty fantastic women who are strong writers and creative souls, so how could that not inspire and influence me?

K.N. Lee: Ohhhh! I want to know more about that WIP! Very interesting!

Do you have a specific writing style?

Colleen: I've been told it's kind of subtle, but beautiful. And with my YA novel, people have told me I have really nailed the YA voice and that my writing is snarky and spot on. But, if you read my short stories, you'll see there's a quiet darkness to them as well. I tend to have tragedy in all of my stories, no matter how I intend for them to pan out. Tragedy and love. After all, isn't that what life is all about?
 

K.N. Lee: Just from reading your writing challenge submission, we can tell you have the perfect voice for YA!

How did you come up with the title for your YA novel?

Colleen: I'm going to sound like a total fruit loop here, but it came to me while I was laying down trying to fall asleep last fall. I'm a total insomniac and I was in a state of lucid dreaming when it came to me. (I believe there was a little divine intervention going on, too.) Before this, the working title (aka, the file name) for my novel was Tres Amigas, because Grey simply hadn't shared her title with me at that point. But when I decided to take my novel into the urban fantasy direction, it was as if the universe said very clearly: here's the title, here are their powers, and here are the worlds they protect. I knew with certainty that they fit each of my characters like a glove. So, book one of The Guardian Trilogy is called The Guardian of Fire: the Neverworld, not to be confused with your Netherworld, I promise! Good minds think alike, or something like that.
 

K.N. Lee: I love it! Those are some amazing titles. I already want to pre-order.

Is there a message in your novel that you want readers to grasp?

Colleen: For me, even though there is this whole "save the world against evil" plot line happening, at the end of the day, the story is still about three teenage girls who are best friends and rely heavily on each other. So the story is really about self-acceptance, the strength of our female relationships, and coming to terms with grief.
 

K.N. Lee: How much of the book is realistic?

Colleen: Okay, so I know this sounds crazy because of the whole dimension building I do in the book, and  the fire-shooting I mentioned earlier, but I'd still say about 60% of it is realistic. My story is an urban fantasy, which means part of it is set in a modern day city and time (in my case, Virginia Beach, Virginia). But the girls are still human (with bonus abilities) and they still have "normal issues" to deal with that all teenagers face: grief from the loss of a loved one, learning to cope and fit in, learning how and when to trust others, falling in love for the first time, body issues, and, oh yeah, let's not forget the demands of high school and the pressure to get into college!
 

K.N. Lee: I cannot wait to meet these girls.

Are experiences based on someone you know, or events in your own life?

Colleen: I'd say some of them are, without even having realized it. When I was a teenager, I always felt over weight (I wasn't) and I never seemed to fit in with a particular crowd. I wasn't a jock, a cheerleader, a nerd, a goth, a thespian, or an outcast. I was friends with everyone, yet I felt on the outside a lot. So I think self-acceptance is something I wish I'd realized sooner. But, I think it's all a part of growing up and finding ourselves. There was just an inner confidence—and, to some degree, self-worth—that I lacked when I was younger (like my character Grey). Also, I am fiercely protective of human rights and equality. So, I gave my characters some equality issues to overcome that are close to my heart, because I have loved ones who have lived through these struggles themselves.

K.N. Lee: What books have most influenced your life?

Colleen: Such a loaded question! One of my favorite books ever is The Outsiders, by S.E. Hinton. It ignited my love for YA and coming-of-age fiction. It's full of class issues, poverty, familial relationships and struggles, love, death, and growth. Perfection. My favorite poem is in this book as well, Nothing Gold Can Stay, by Robert Frost. Anyone familiar with the poem knows that it's bittersweet, as the title suggests. I think that tender yet tragic line is one I continually try to skate in my writing. I have also been influenced from works by Judy Blume, Madeline L'Engle, V.C. Andrews, Bertice Small, Jane Austen, Toni Morrison, W. Summerset Maughm, Haven Kimmel, Albert Einstein, Helen Keller, Jes Young, Melissa Foster, and Richard Bach. That said, I'm influenced everyday by new and beautiful literature that continues to shape my life and worldview. It's why I love reading so much, and what I hope to give back as a writer: inspiration, hope, imagination, redemption, love.
 

K.N. Lee:

If you had to choose, which writer would you consider a mentor?

Colleen: The beauty of being an editor is that I get to chose whom I work with, and as I mentioned before, I tend to surround myself with strong, creative, and smart women. So, to some degree, all of my authors have taught me something, and I know I could go to them in a heartbeat for help, wisdom, encouragement, and direction. I think Melissa Foster has become my biggest mentor and influence though—I swear, that woman is amazing, as many writers can attest. She embodies the spirit of giving back, being kind, working hard, using her intelligence, and flexing her creativity. Even though she's an International bestselling author—who writes a lot, I might add!—she also owns and operates several businesses that support Indie writers. She's the full package and real deal; I feel so blessed that our paths have crossed and I get the chance to learn from her along my journey.
 

K.N. Lee: That is remarkable. Shout outs to Melissa Foster! We'll have to get her on here sometime! 

What book are you reading now?

Colleen: As an editor, I get to read a lot—seriously, it's the best job in the world! Right now, I am reading a few books: Sisters in Bloom, by Melissa Foster; Siren Suicides, by Ksenia Anske; and The Angel Therapy Handbook, by Doreen Virtue (I didn't get to edit this one!). I'm also starting The Last Oracle, by Delia Colvin, this weekend. Life is good!
 
K.N. Lee: Are there any new authors who have grasped your interest?

Colleen: A ton! The writing community is thriving with fun, new authors. Being a part of the Indie community, I get to witness new authors as they're born and begin to flourish. Can you imagine walking alongside the likes of J.K. Rowling or Stephen King while they were making it in the writing world? That's how I feel every day when I discover a great new author—like yourself! Congrats on your new book, The Chronicles of Koa, by the way. See what I mean? I cannot name all the amazing writers who have caught my eye, but particularly, a few are: Delia Colvin, Ksenia Anske, Dee C. May, Leigh Ann Kopans, Dylan J. Morgan, J.B. Hickman, A.G. Henley, Jes Young, L.M. Augustine, Beth Michele, Amalie Jahn, and, with all sincerity, yourself! I cannot wait for my editing schedule to slow so I can devour the rest of Koa! *bites nails*
 

K.N. Lee: *blushes* Why thank you for the mention of my book, The Chronicles of Koa! You're so right. The writing community is thriving, and it is a pleasure to get a chance to sit down and interview amazing people such as yourself! I'm also glad that you mentioned the stunningly talented, Ksenia Anske! It was such a blast interviewing her.

What are your current projects?

Colleen: Writing has been pretty slow right now because of my intensive editing schedule—which, truly, I would not change for anything in the world. I know my time will come as a writer when it's meant to, so I write when I can and know it will all come together eventually. In the mean time, I continue to write short stories and flash fiction whenever I can (a few are posted on my Web site for readers). My WIP novels are The Guardian Trilogy and my yet-to-be-named adult fiction book that I mentioned earlier (my file name is The Haunted, but that won't be the title!). I also have a completed children's picture book that I'm starting to shop around. My other projects are all editing based: I'm currently finishing the Siren Suicides trilogy, by Ksenia Anske; Sisters in Bloom (Snow Sisters series), Where Petals Fall, and Treat Braden (Book one of The Bradens series), all by Melissa Foster; The Last Oracle, by Delia Colvin, and Liveon, by Stacy Eaton.
 

K.N. Lee: Name one entity that you feel supported you outside of family members.

Colleen: Just one? I'd say my guardian angels. I won't go off on a tangent here, but guardian angels are messengers from God. So, I always feel God's love and support through the angels that I know surround me. I would not be where I am today—with the knowledge, love, success, and rich life that God's blessed me with—without the help of my angels.

K.N. Lee: Do you see writing as a career?

Colleen: Absolutely! Once you go writer, you never go back...isn't that the saying? While writing isn't my full time job at the moment, the writing profession as a whole is my career—I am immersed in it daily with my editing work, writing my WIP, and through all of the amazing author friends I have made. While it was good to me (and an invaluable learning experience), I always say I will never go back to corporate America after getting a taste of the writer's life!

K.N. Lee: If you had to do it all over again, would you change anything in your latest book?

Colleen: Yep, so thank God I cooled my heels and got feedback from a published author before sending my baby out into this big, bad world! Through a charitable fundraiser by author Brenda Novak (for diabetes research), I won a critique of my first fifty pages by the amazingly talented YA writer, Lea Nolan, author of Conjure. It was the single harshest, yet most honest and valuable advice I could ever have gotten before self-publishing. I am so grateful for the thoughtfulness, effort, and time she dedicated to helping a new writer. As a result, it's definitely going to change the structure and starting point for my novel.
 

K.N. Lee: Do you recall how your interest in writing originated?

Colleen: I come from a long line of natural writers and storytellers, so I think the apple just fell close to the tree. My mother raised me to have a love and appreciation for reading. No matter how little money we had, we always had full bookshelves. From my love of reading grew a passion for writing. I started with writing in a journal (which I still do today), then creating a family newsletter as a way to make fun of my older brother (sorry!), and then moved on to really bad poetry in high school. I always knew I was a "good" writer, but during college, I grew my wings and took that first leap—and I haven't looked back since.
 

K.N. Lee: I must say, I'm glad you grew your wings and took that first leap! I see big things for you!

Can you share a little of your current work with us?

Colleen: Sure, I'd love to. Bear in mind that this is from my shitty first draft and, with the upcoming revisions, I'm not sure if this scene will even make the book or end up in my "edited out" file. This scene takes place at the police station while the girls are waiting for their parents to come pick them up. It gives a fun taste of both voice and a hint of what's to come. Because I like a challenge, the book is written in first person POV, with each chapter dedicated to a different girl, rotating back and forth. This is from one of Grey's chapters.

             

“Chelsea, we have to cooperate. I’m not going to juvie over this, it was an accident,” I remind everyone. “I’m sure Chelsea’s father will be happy to pay for whatever damages we caused at the bowling alley. And restitution if anyone was accidentally injured. In the accident.” I look at Officer Harper to see if he's following me. His lips are straight and he furrows his brow as he watches me. Clearly, we are not on the same page.    

“What? What do you mean ‘Chelsea’s father will pay’?” Chelsea sputters as she shoots me the evil eye. “It wasn't Chelsea's idea to take the tractor. Chelsea wasn’t the one who stole the beer. Chelsea didn't start the goddamn—”

“Shut up, you two!” It was Isa's turn to calm us down, and we needed it. I was just trying to appease Officer Friendly. I didn’t mean for Chelsea to go and get her panties in a wad.

“She’s right. Let’s just wait for Mr. Britton to get here. We’re not saying another word until he does,” I say, with more bravado than I actually feel. I'm getting really warm and my fingers are starting to tingle again. I feel the kind of sick you get at the pool when you've been in the sun too long on an empty stomach. The back of my neck feels as if it's on fire. Isabella gently rubs it with the hand she casually draped over the back of my chair when Chelsea began yelling at me. I silently pray that I can keep my nerves under control so that we don't have another accident like we did at the bowling alley last night.

I’m not sure if Officer Backwoods knows quite what to make of us. He sighs and pushes his rusted chair back, its metal screeching across the putrid-brown, linoleum tiles. Their color reminds me that I'm about to get sick. 

“Clearly, you don’t understand the magnitude of your actions, girls,” Officer Harper says.

“Girls? Who are you calling a girl?” Chelsea scoffs. “I’m eighteen. I’m a woman now.”

“Even better. No juvie for you. If Daddy-Dearest doesn’t buy your way out of this, you get the slammer—girl.” He looks each one of us in the eyes before he turns on his squishy-heeled rubber soles and leaves us alone to sweat it out in our small, stinky room.

Before I know what's happening, I can feel the burning in my fingers intensify to an unbearable level again, making me feel like I'm on fire from the inside.

“Ouch!” Isabella yelps, as she shoves my hand off her thigh. I'm so nervous I didn't even realize that I had a death-grip on her leg. “Grey, take a deep breath and look at me. Grey!” She jerks my head so that I face her. She places her hands on both of my shoulders and starts softly humming our favorite song, trying desperately to settle my nerves and ground me—to clear the pain and confusion from my eyes, which have started to cloud over.

But I can't focus on her, yet. I'm still looking down at the charred impressions that my fingertips just left; I can see her dark crimson blood mix with the tiny blue and black fibers of her skinny jeans.

K.N. Lee: Once again, you've stunned us with your creativity and sharp writing!

Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your writing?

Colleen: Oh, you know, just the basics. Like, um, following the advice I give my authors every day! It's so different when it's your writing and you're so close to it. Intuitively, I know what works and what does not; but, sometimes, it's hard to apply to my own writing. I have to be careful of tense issues, particularly with the flash back style I have in some parts of The Guardian of Fire (which, is one of the reasons I am going to change it and start elsewhere in the story). And every writer has crutch words. I like to throw "just" in there a lot. It's kind of how other writers may over use "really" or "very," even though they're not needed about 99% of the time! I always go back and edit it out, but it often sneak into my first drafts.
 

K.N. Lee: Who is your favorite author and what is it that really strikes you about their work?

Colleen: I honestly can't say I have one favorite, but if I had to pick an all time, life-long favorite, I'd have to say Diane Chamberlain. Her books are about every day people and the complications they create in their lives, sometimes, with just one seemingly small act of stupidity, recklessness, or misfortune that snowballs. What I always love about Diane's books is that she throws in these amazing plot twists and turns that just—wham! They grab your heart, make you gasp at the sheer genius in the way she executed it, and how it leaves her characters so flawed and damaged, but lovable. The more flawed and dimensional a character is, the more my heart aches and cheers. I also swoon over the poetic license authors, like Diane, take with their word choices; I love when one surprises me and I think, "Wow! I never would have described it like that." For example, a sunset has been described a bazillion different ways in literature, so you think, how can anyone say it in a new, different, and engaging way? But that's what great literature is all about. When an author can make me hold my breath from the beauty they create by stringing unexpected words together, it's magic. I also tend to gravitate to strong female leads, snarky humor, and—from time to time—an epic, yet tragic, love story.
 

K.N. Lee: Do you have to travel much concerning your book(s)?

Colleen: Not yet. I tend to write what I know. But, I'm always up for doing research abroad!
 

K.N. Lee: Who designed the covers?
 

Colleen: Sigh, I'm not at that point yet. But, man, do I have strong aesthetic opinions and reactions, so in the (slightly modified) famous words of Sheryl Crow, I'll be asking, "Are you strong enough to be my...graphic artist?" I'm also blessed to be friends with the owner of Shadeflower Press, and she designs beautiful covers and does an amazing job with book layout and formatting. So, I'm sure we'll be working together in the future.
 

K.N. Lee: What was the hardest part of writing your book?

Colleen: The plot, by far. No, seriously. I can write my ass off all day. But a good writer doesn't equal a good book. A good book requires a good plot and strong characters. I've got the strong characters, but I'm still hashing the plot out. I tend to be a panster when it comes to my writing, unlike most everything else in my life!
K.N. Lee: So true! One needs a good plot! Did you learn anything from writing your book and what was it?

Colleen: I learned how much I love inflicting pain on my characters—though I'm not sure exactly what this says about me (smiles). Seriously, I think I just learned how fun it is to make things happen in books, and to have such creative license. The fun part is the writing after all. Not the business side of it: formatting, publishing, reviews, marketing, blah, blah, blah. All necessary, for sure. But the romance, for me, is in the writing. I love losing myself for hours, just creating—creating scenes and dialogue and motivation. You learn a lot about yourself this way, too!
 

K.N. Lee: Do you have any advice for other writers?

Colleen: To read and write every single day. The more you read, the more you grow. The more you grow, the better you feel. So, let's write books for every...oh, wait. That's beans.
 

K.N. Lee: Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

Colleen: I have readers? *dies* Thank you. Be patient. I love you, man.
K.N. Lee: Of course you do! The reception of your short story, Chasing Destiny had the highest views on this site! Believe it! What were the challenges (research, literary, psychological, and logistical) in bringing it to life?

Colleen: With being a stay at home mother, the challenge is definitely making the time to write and not feeling guilty about it. It's so hard sometimes to justify wanting to sit in a room, alone, fancifully making up words that, next to your kid's needs, don't really seem that important in the grand scheme of thing. But it is. It's your very soul needing to express itself. And your children need to see you passionate about something other than them. So, even if writing isn't your thing, mothers, make time for whatever it is that sparks your soul.

K.N. Lee: What do you think about e-publishing versus traditional publishing? 

Colleen: I'm all for it. If it means getting your books in the hands of readers, awesome. Isn't that why most people write? I think the decision is a highly subjective and individual one, but I don't believe there's a one-size-fits-all answer either. I have friends who have gone in both directions and are equally as happy. Would I love a million dollar book deal? Sure. Would I hold my breath waiting years for one instead of just writing and publishing my books in the meantime so that people can actually read them? No way. I think it's a great way to build a fan base and get noticed, too. Plus, it gives the author all the control. And, I kinda like that. 

K.N. Lee: Do you have an agent or publisher? How did you go about finding one?

Colleen: Not yet. For my fiction novels, I'll likely go Indie for the reasons I mentioned above. But I am also currently shopping a children's picture book to agents and publishers, and I do want to go the traditional route with that. I use Query Tracker, Twitter, and the Children's Writers & Illustrators Market book to find agents and publishers I'm interested in and who will be a great fit for me and my book.

K.N. Lee: Thanks for those suggestions! I'm sure it'll be useful to our readers! 

If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

Colleen: I'm kinda partial to where I live now, which is in North Carolina. It's warm in the winter, but not too warm in the summer. You can actually exercise outside twelve months of the year! We have a good economy and schools. And I'm close to amazing North and South Carolina beaches and the mountains! What's not to love? Now, there are hundreds and hundreds of places I'd like to travel...

K.N. Lee: Yes! Hooray for North Carolina! 

If you could have any super power, what would it be?

Colleen: Is time traveling a super power? I'd like to be able to bend time so I can transport myself to any point in time I desire. I think it'd be so fascinating to immerse myself in other cultures at other points in history and just observe. If not, I'd totally want to be She-Ra, the Princess of Power! 

K.N. Lee: Thank you for such an amazing interview, Colleen. It has been such fun! Good luck with everything!

For More on The Grammar Babe, Colleen M. Albert:

Twitter

Website 

Blog

Writing Challenge With Author, Colleen M. Albert!!

Challenge:

 In 2000 words or less, write about a girl, or boy, with the power to hear everyone's thoughts. How do they utilize such a power...or is it a curse?

The Author: Colleen M. Albert

Chasing Destiny

Chasing Destiny

I never told anyone about the voices in my head. I knew early on that such a statement would get me a fast ticket to the mental health clinic in our small town of Destiny, North Carolina—population 3,332. We used to have 3,333 residents, a nice round number if you ask me, before Esther Moynihan took a spill at the Sip n' Save and never recovered from a broken tailbone. I mean, how embarrassing for poor Esther's family. Who dies of complications from a broken ass? I wish I was joking, but truly, they were all thinking it. I could hear every one of them at the funeral, their voices buzzing inside my head like a swarm of angry bees: "Damn, Aunt Esther, could you be any more embarrassing?" "How much longer can this take? She didn't even have any friends." "I wonder if I'll still get that golden brooch of hers." "Her ass. Really? Who dies of a broken ass?" 

            I was bored and sad from all of the comments at Miss Esther's funeral. I would've excused myself right then and headed to the shady woods behind the town's only church, had I not heard the last thought, coming from a pretty blonde at the front of the room. She sat hunched over, her shoulders drooping and shaking with a ferocity I was sure even dear old Esther could feel from her casket. The girl's thickly laced southern accent sped through my consciousness, fighting for shelf space with hundreds of others in the room. Though the girl was small in stature, her voice was direct when she thought, "I know you can hear me."

 

            My head jerked up at the sound of her voice, my eyes meeting hers as she turned and gazed from beneath the longest, palest eyelashes I ever saw. My heart slammed into my chest. I clutched the musty, old hymnal that I snatched up just moments before. Surely, I'm headed straight to hell for the lusty images I conjured up when our eyes met. For God's sake, I'm at a funeral!

            She laughed and wiggled her fingers at me, ever so slightly so that only I would notice. Had she heard me? Impossible. I'm the only one in town with this freaky ability. I snorted. Curse, is more like it. 

            The wisp of a girl silently raised two fingers in the air, before dragging them through hair so pale I'd almost call it buttery white—if I was the type of guy who gave two shits about hair color. But I didn't. I couldn't afford to. I rose from the pew, slinking out of the church and into the brilliant glare of sunlight that lay forgotten from within the cocoon of doom I'd just escaped. 

            "Don't go far, okay? Now that you know my secret, I may have to kill ya," she giggled. I spun around, but she wasn't behind me. 

            "What the fuck?" This time, I muttered the words aloud. I'm seriously losing it. There isn't a single girl in this town whom I don't know. She must be an out of town relative of Miss Esther's.

            "Sort of," she answered. "I can hear you just as clearly as you can hear me. So, can you wait for me, please?" 

            "Why would I wait if you just threatened to kill me?" I retorted. It occurred to me that I might be getting punked. But then I remembered that the conversation was going on inside my head, so that option was pretty much out. "Seriously, you're freaking me out. I've gotta go." I slammed the heel of my palm into my forehead, not believing that I was now answering the voices inside my head. This is exactly why I don't tell anyone. It's a one way ticket to Mental Health. I dashed off at full speed toward the lake. It wasn't the first time I ran to escape the voices in my head.  

*****

            I was lying on the soft, tickling blades of grass that lined the river's edge. They were a delicate juxtaposition of something so fine and sharp it could slice through your skin if rubbed the wrong way, but so soft and pliable you wanted to give in and repose against the raw, earthy carpet. Even though my eyes were closed, I knew I wasn't alone. I could hear the girl's vibrations a mile away as she approached me. Then half a mile. Gaining speed, she ran the last quarter mile and stood over me, effectively blocking the sun from further warming my face. 

            "What do you want?" I asked aloud. I dared to peek from beneath my eyelids that were almost fully closed into long, half-moon slits. 

            "Why are you pushing me away? Afraid to be the only one with super powers?" 

            I sat upright and opened my eyes fully now. I grunted. "What do you know about super powers? Where's your belt, Wonder Woman?" 

            "I don't need a belt when I can do this," she thought back. I couldn't help but gape at this sassy, little pixy of a girl who had no qualms about giving it back to me. She smiled, and I cursed myself for having these thoughts. 

            Stop it. She can hear you, Rico Suave. I smacked my forehead again. Stupid, stupid.

            She burst into a full, hearty laugh this time—her timbre an octave lower and scratchier than I would've imagined, ending with an uncontrolled snort that caused her to clap her hand over her mouth.  

             "So, I'll ask you one last time, whaddya want? You know my secret, so what?" I circled my arms around my knees and glared at her. 

            "It's not a secret, Drew, we can all do it."

            "What do you mean, we? And how do you know my name?" 

            She glanced at me with one eyebrow cocked, a slight smirk riding one corner of her bold, purple-painted lips. "You really don't know, do you?" 

            "Know what? That I'm a freak? That I can hear every frigging voice in town whether I want to or not? That I know about the mayor who's cheating on his wife with a bank teller? That I can correctly answer every question on a test just by listening to the smartest kids in class? Or how about the one where I tried to ask a girl out, but she..." I stopped myself. My chest was heaving, adrenaline coursing through me as I lashed out at this poor girl. "Sorry, I'm not usually like this. Who are you and why can you hear me?" 

            "Let's start with the easy question. I'm Leila, Esther's niece. Do you know she only went by Mrs. Moynihan to ward off suitors?" When I shook my head no, she continued. "Yeah, she was pretty foxy back in her day. But she had this strange gift too. She was afraid to let anyone in too close, so she said she was a widow. Secluded herself inside her small home in the woods, where she was able to escape some of the madness we all inherit from hearing too much, too often, too loudly." She glanced at me for confirmation, but she already knew the answer without it leaving my lips. 

            "She's a smart lady. Maybe I'll try that when I graduate. Get as far away from Destiny as I can." 

            "But don't you see? Destiny is just a state of mind. It doesn't matter where you live. It doesn't matter how far you run. Your ability will always be there. The only difference is no one can see your anguish when you're alone in the woods. But who wants to be alone?" She lowered her gaze and drew small circles in the grass with the toe of her gray Chucks.

            She knelt in front of me, lifting her orchid-laced eyes to meet mine. Time stopped as I tried to decipher where the purple ended and where the duskiest of the periwinkle began. A jolt of heat shot straight to my belly, causing my cheeks to redden. I cursed again, knowing they would look splotchy, and glanced off into the woods in an effort to look uninterested.

            "I'm like you, Drew," she sighed, trying to catch my gaze again. When I refused to look back, she moved her hands in closer to my knees, using them to gesture as she spoke. "I was like you. I was lost. I fought my way through life every day. I slammed books into my head to quiet the voices. I played music too loudly to drown the sounds that threatened my sanity. I never met someone else like me—someone who understood." She glanced down at our hands, which were now lightly touching. Sparks shot through my arms and went straight to my loins this time. I may be a freak who can hear voices, but I'm still a sixteen-year-old boy. 

            Leila's face flushed as red as mine when she glanced at our fingertips. I thought she'd pull away after the last stupid thought that raced through my mind. Instead, she laced our fingers and helped pull me to a standing position. My heart hammered against my chest when she stepped closer so we were toe-to-toe. Our breathes mingled and our lips parted, but we weren't touching. I'd never been so physically close to a girl before, let alone a girl like Leila. I wanted to lower my head that fraction of an inch until I could feel the heat of her mouth melting into mine. 

            "Drew," she whispered. I swung my eyes from her dark, smooth lips to the icy kaleidoscope within her eyes. "The reason I can hear your thoughts is because you're like me. We're in limbo." The way she furrowed her brows and squinted her eyes just a fraction, told on me that I wasn't quite tracking. "Limbo, Drew. It's when you've died, but your soul hasn't crossed over yet. You should be dead, but you're not for some reason. I'm in limbo too. We're all given choices here. I made mine when I chose to come to you as your guide. But every choice comes with a payment. So, now, you need to make yours." 

            I wasn't sure whether to be more scared about her ability to hear my thoughts, or the kooky story she was asking me to buy. "Leila, clearly, I'm not dead. I just saw you at your aunt's funeral. 

You can see me now. So clearly..." Oh. Well, that sucks.  

            I'm in limbo, Drew. We all have choices here. They're hard, but they're worth fighting for. I've been sent to deliver yours. Are you ready? 

            Am I ready? How does one go from believing himself to be alive to making a life or death decision in the matter of minutes? I ran my hand over my wild crop of dirt-colored curls, only they weren't there. My head was as smooth as the day I was born. "What—" 

            "You lost them after the accident. They had to shave to get inside your head and relieve the pressure." She frowned. "I know it's a lot to take in, but you don't have a lot of time to decide, Drew. You are balancing on the precipice of consciousness and need to decide which way to lean—toward life or death." 

            I rolled my eyes at the drama in her voice. "Fine," I said. 

"Lay it on me, O' Mighty One." 

            "This is serious, Drew. You feel our connection, right?" 

            I stopped smiling, and nodded. I knew the moment I spotted her at the funeral that my soul recognized hers. I felt a deep sense of belonging and acceptance that I have never felt before. Soul mates flashed through my mind before I could think to filter it. I glanced up at Leila who was blushing prettily again. 

            Yes, Drew...soul mates. 

            We stood in silence for what seemed like hours, but I knew our fates balanced on our swiftness. 

            "Tell me what decision I can make that will keep us together, Leila," I begged. 

            She shook her head, tears brimming against those pale, sweeping lashes. "The decision I've been sent to give you is this: You can live, and go back to earth. You will find great love there. You'll have kids and grandkids, and you'll live well into your golden years..." she paused, choking to get the rest of her words out.

            "But?" I asked, afraid to hear her next thought. 

            "But, it won't be with me. Our souls will be separated forever. Whomever you marry, you'll be tithed to eternally. But the voices and thoughts you can hear now—they'll be gone. You'll never need to worry again about this gift we've been given." She broke down into a full, sloppy cry. I brushed a finger along her cheek and instinctively leaned in to kiss away her pain. The moment our lips met, I knew I would pick option number two no matter what the cost. A heat, unlike any I've ever felt, coursed through my body, sparking every nerve until they ignited as if on fire. In the distance, I could hear a faint beeping sound. Leila pulled away, regret and fear lacing her eyes as she held up two fingers for the second time today. 

            "You're losing time, Drew, and the ability to choose. After this, He makes the choice for you. Option number two: You die. You leave your life, your family, and Destiny. But I live. I live and you die." She hiccupped, no longer caring about the messy tears streaking her face. "I live in this life without you, and without my ability to hear other people's thoughts. Every life after this one, I'll be curse free, but you'll never be able to escape it. We won't be together in this lifetime, Drew, or likely in any other. Star crossed lovers," she laughed, but it was born from pain and not from humor.  

            "But why? Why would he make us choose like this?" 

            "Because any love worth fighting for takes courage, right, Drew?" She shrugged her shoulders and lifted her hands, palms up—marrying her sarcastic tone with her helpless gesture. "We will know the dull ache of love, but our hearts will never be satisfied. We'll go through all of our lifetimes knowing we haven't found the one. We'll never know who we're searching for, but we'll always be chasing our destinies. God, Drew," she said, running a hand through her long, wavy hair. A clip with a white and a pink feather peeked discretely beneath her curls. "This is a shit decision. There's no winning here. Just let me die. You've lived this long without me. You can simply wake and have it all...just with someone else. I won't take that from you." 

            I glanced down at Leila. Pretty, petite, heated Leila. Freckles ran across the bridge of her nose. They were pale but warm, like the rest of her. The voices in my head were quiet for the first time in my entire life. An inexplicable elation rushed over me. I could have this all of the time. No more voices. No more torment. Just me, and my thoughts. Just me.  

            No Leila.     

    

            No Leila. 

            No Leila. 

*****

            I heard the beeping once again, this time more loudly. I looked around, searching, panicked. Leila? Leila! I screamed. I couldn't hear anything and the thought froze me. Had I chosen life? I couldn't hear a single thing. Just golden, painful silence. No! I didn't mean to choose life. I didn't mean it! 

            A bright light flared over me, riding my body like waves. When I woke, once again, I was at the edge of the riverbank. The rush of water filled my head with a noisy cacophony that left me trembling. How had I gotten here? 

            A memory of milky blond hair and purplish-blue eyes flashed before me. I looked down at the ground and saw two feathers lying beside each other. I heard her, before I could see her.

             

"Today's the day. I'm finally going to give myself to him!"

             

It felt all wrong. I glanced up and saw a leggy brunette walking toward me, flashing crystal white, perfectly straight teeth behind cotton candy glossed lips. Love was the force that arched those lips into a perfect crescent smile, plumping her 

high cheeks with rosy pink expectations.  

Wait! I can hear her. I can hear her! 

 I glanced down at the two feathers in my hand—one pink and one white—unsure of their meaning or why they caused a dark cloud of discontent in my heart. The name Leila skipped across my mind before I could stop it. I had no more of a clue who Leila was than the reason for the feathers in my hand. But something deep and primitive told me I would find the answers one day, even if I didn't like them. 

No, this brunette Barbie doll headed toward me was not my destiny. For once in my life, I was grateful for the grief and anger I knew I would hear inside my head when I walked away from her, in search of a girl made of light and feathers.   

           

           

     For More On Colleen M. Albert:      

  

 

Colleen M. Albert

The Grammar Babe

www.colleenmalbert.com

www.cmalbert.blogspot.com