Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Free E-Book!! Wisconsin Vamp (Monsters in the Midwest Book 1)

Free E-Book!! Wisconsin Vamp (Monsters in the Midwest Book 1)

"Midwestern nice” is hard to pull off when you’re a bloodthirsty monster. 

Poor Herb isn’t even sure how he got vamped. One day, it's same old, same old. Cooking at Ronnie's, bowling with the guys, drinking at Steinknockers and pining for Lois, the prettiest waitress in Trappersville. The next, things start getting weird. With no one to guide him, Herb fumbles into his newfound abilities, courting disaster with each bumbling step. Sure, there are some perks. The local stripper wants him, he can do this whammy mind-control thing, and he is getting a lot better at bowling. But he can’t drink beer, the bodies are piling up, and his best friend Dallas is getting suspicious. When Herb and Dallas go for the same girl, keeping his dark secret becomes the least of Herb's concerns. 

Booze, billiards, bake sales, babes, bowling, bar fights, blood and karaoke. Who would’ve thought that being undead would make life so interesting?

5.0 out of 5 stars A Fun Entertaining Change-of-Pace Vampire Story August 17, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Growing up in Wisconsin and having traversed most of the state, I just had to get Scott Burtness' book. I found his first published book to be quite entertaining. Yes, poor Herb 'accidentally' becomes a vampire after a trip to New Orleans, but not until he is back home at his rambler in the woods sitting outside one morning having his coffee. And not by a vampire biting him.

Odd, quirky... Yes. A story about an accidental vampire learning on his own what the "rules" are being a vampire. No, he can't stand sunlight or 'normal' food, requiring the usual liquid diet. Yes, he is a lot stronger and faster and finds he is really good at pool and bowling (a couple of staples of life up there along with darts). He is just learning and stumbling as he goes, not being sure of what his full abilities and limitations are or might be. The writing just keeps the story moving and the reader wanting to keep reading.

The way it is laid out as a story of discovery is quite well done IMO. Very little of the book delves into the gory side of being a vampire, it is treated more matter-of-fact with the most happening the morning he awakes after he has turned -- but even Scott's handling of the situation is done well. The ending starts out kind of cool, giving you a good feeling, but takes a sharp turn in the last couple of sentences that will leave you with a chuckle and nodding in agreement.

It was also a pleasure to read a book with almost no editing issues -- Thank You Scott and your editor(s).

5.0 out of 5 stars Herb: A Celebration of All Things Average August 29, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Herb is a celebration of all things average. He's a beer drinking, bowling alley frequenting Wisconsin-ite that cooks at a truck stop and drives a noisy Pinto. Never mind that he gets bitten by a mosquito and turned into a vampire...

Actually scratch that, because turning into a vampire is maybe the best thing that's happened to Herb.


Wisconsin Vamp was a gamble for me for two reasons: a) I don't generally read vampire novels and b) I didn't know even know Horror Comedy was a thing. Thankfully, I ignored points a) and b) and was rewarded with a book that at times, had me laughing so hard I was shaking the bed. Herb is charming (in a non-sparkly vampire way) and has you rooting for him through the whole book.

Besides an engaging storyline, the writing itself is worth pointing out. The clever phrasing, the well thought out word choice, and the crafting of each sentence made me smile (and highlight) many times. Each sentence was like a meal; meaty and rich, full bodied and satisfyingly descriptive, giving you something to chew through to the next sentence, page, chapter, until you were finally through the book.

All in all, a great read. Well developed and humorously written characters, a deeper-than-one-might-assume storyline, and a fabulous cover all combine to make a great book that I'm very glad to have read. I look forward to more books in the Monsters of the Midwest series!

Scott Burtness lives in the Midwest with his wife, Liz and their

 boxer-Pitt, Frank. He enjoys beer, bowling, karaoke, reading

 horror and rooting for the underdog. 

Twitter: SWBauthor